The Cost

For all the stoic self-control I so extol, I think this collection of writings has failed to capture the pains I have gone through to try and be whoever I am. Like most, I am an imperfect man with many vices, and I’ve lead a life where I’ve used those vices to replace connections in my life, fill holes in my heart and pass vast swathes of time where I would have preferred for my brain to be off rather than on. All of it has taken it’s toll on my body. So young and yet so broken. It ought not be like this, and it is a sobering thought to consider I have already done too much damage.

I would say to the reader, avoid this. Avoid a lifestyle of vices and self-destructive habits, especially if it’s in order to get by with your everyday life. It isn’t strength. It’s not even weakness. It’s death in a time before it should be, and if you do to yourself as I have done to myself, you will have none other to blame but yourself.

2 Thoughts.

  1. Whoa, brutally open, but I think a bit harsh at the end. Just as much as you falling in to your own self-destructiveness has probably been a result of external impact on your life as much as a choice, you cannot blame people who come after you for falling into the same hole. You don’t know what have pushed them into it…

  2. I concede that environment can play a big part in how we end up. Whether we’re loved or hated, environment could direct us, almost uncontrollably, to become different people then we might have been otherwise. However, not everyone reacts the same to such externalities. Since I’m a strong believer in choice, I think there’s a degree of control in how one reacts to these. We can almost always choose better, though I admit it is seldom ever easy to transform ashes into beauty.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *