For all the stoic self-control I so extol, I think this collection of writings has failed to capture the pains I have gone through to try and be whoever I am. Like most, I am an imperfect man with many vices, and I’ve lead a life where I’ve used those vices to replace connections in my life, fill holes in my heart and pass vast swathes of time where I would have preferred for my brain to be off rather than on. All of it has taken it’s toll on my body. So young and yet so broken. It ought not be like this, and it is a sobering thought to consider I have already done too much damage.
I would say to the reader, avoid this. Avoid a lifestyle of vices and self-destructive habits, especially if it’s in order to get by with your everyday life. It isn’t strength. It’s not even weakness. It’s death in a time before it should be, and if you do to yourself as I have done to myself, you will have none other to blame but yourself.